A View from Sierra County

Small town life and politics, lots of knitting, and travels with and without my five burros

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Location: In the Sierra Nevadas, United States

I blog about rural living and social issues, and the creativity that comes from knitting, as well as post random pictures of the Sierras and my burros. "In order to be an artist, one must be deeply rooted in the society" - Simone de Beauvoir


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Friday, June 30, 2006

Friday Looks Better

I have been in a general funk the past two days, but woke up more my bright and shiny self this morning. Nothing could get knitted, or read, or tended to... my head hurt and life has been a bit rough around the edges lately. I am going to a job interview later this morning, which has me a tiny bit nervous, as well. I am hoping to convince the regional Headstart agency to hire me on to direct one of their sites, preferably the one closest to me. This would be an outgrowth of directing the program I helped start a few years ago; that job ended back in February and we definitely need to have me working more! How on earth will I be able to buy all the yarn I want? JK, the most difficult thing about being on a reduced income the past few months has been needing to decrease my generosity - I can't say "yes" to as much as is normal for me, and want to see that change.

The three of our five children that I gave birth to are grieving the sudden and surprising death of their step-mom's sister on Thursday; this is the closest "young" (she was 45 and there was no indication that she had health issues, but "heart" is listed as the cause of death) relative or friend any of them have faced going on without, and all three have had telephone conversations with me about how they feel, what to say to their now-motherless cousins, how to help their dad and step-mom, and how to face going forward.

I can't say I had any brilliant advice; I just told each of them in answer to "What do I say?", that it is not about what you say, but that you make the effort to share their grief. There is nothing to say, except "I am sad too", when all is said and done. I have always been one to hate platitudes or cliches. I am awed and proud of each of them for how open they have been able to be about both their own grief and their fears in dealing with death.

That said, I am really looking forward to the holiday weekend! I am almost done with Trekking Sock #1 and will be able to start #2, if not today, than then tomorrow morning while doing my shift at our crafts co-op in Downieville. Once my shift is over, there are multiple options for fun, including visiting our dear friends in Sierra City, where they manage the RV park for the summer, then come and stay with us each winter. There will also be a highly entertaining Fireman's muster in the mid-afternoon, a great BBQ to benefit the local VFD, and a street dance tomorrow night, if I can just stay awake that long!

I hope that everyone enjoys the weekend, and those who have Monday off (you know who you are and I am not one of you!) get a long and restful vacation. Fireworks are illegal where we are, because the forest fire danger is really high (there were over 30 small fires on our Forest alone from Tuesday's storm that I described below), but several communities have great displays over lakes - just none near me, so oooh and aaah for me.

4 Comments:

Blogger margene said...

Fireworks are over rated anyway. Mother nature holds much more in the way sights to oooh and ahh over. Hopefully I'll see a moose and will dedicate it to you;-)

10:18 AM  
Blogger Carrie K said...

Fireworks start too late. I'm not a night owl in the least.

Sorry to hear about your children's step aunt. Cliches & platitudes might ring tritely but at times, it's a comfort to hear/say words that have been around forever when really, there are no words.

But I'm glad to hear you're out of your doldrums! Crossing fingers for you on the Headstart agency.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I hope you get the job you want! I'm sending good job vibes your way.

I'm sorry to hear about your children's step aunt. Death is always difficult, but especially when it's someone so young and the death is unexpected.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous SpiderWomanKnits said...

I am so sorry to hear about your childrens step-aunt so I send *big* supportive hugs to your family.

You are right about finding words difficult in times of loss. But loss and love are matters-of-the-heart which is a universal unspoken language anyway. Listening is the best we can do at times like this and that is what they need the most. How wonderful that they have the words to share with you and are comfortable talking about their grief.

I'll be thinking about your interview and sending positive vibes your way :-)

6:33 PM  

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